As Cleveland Celebrates Indians World Series, Browns Sob In Corner Somewhere 2

As celebrations broke out all around Cleveland and the country over the Indians beating the Blue Jays 3-0 to win the American League Championship Series 4-1, the Browns were spotted sobbing softly in a corner somewhere. The city of Cleveland had its long championship drought end earlier this year, with the Cavaliers making history by […]



Report: Ben Roethlisberger Prohibited From Sexual Assault For 2 Weeks

Pittsburgh Steelers Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has been prohibited by a team doctor from participating in any sexual assaults for at least the next two weeks, a source said. “We’re all pretty disappointed for Ben,” Steelers¬†Team President Art Rooney II said, “To think that he won’t be able to terrorize women across the country for the […]

Another QB Down: Local Browns Blogger Injures Arm Playing Quarterback

  This is real. I wish this were a joke, or satire. It is not. I have been added to the list of Browns related Quarterback injuries. Yesterday, we were playing a game of football as a way to break up the typical monotony of organized, unit physical training (I’m in the Army). I warmed […]



Browns Cut Clipboard Jesus, God Seen Chuckling And Stretching

The Browns announced that they cut Charlie “Clipboard Jesus” Whitehurst this morning, moving QB Kevin Hogan from the practice squad to the active roster: QB Kevin Hogan, DL Gabe Wright brought up from the practice squad. Charlie Whitehurst released with inj. settlement — Andrew Gribble (@Andrew_Gribble) October 11, 2016 In response, God was heard […]

Breaking: Browns To Face Criminal Charges For Quarterback Homicides

The Cuyahoga County Prosecutor’s office has decided to move forward with plans to file criminal charges against the Cleveland Browns in connection with a string of horrific quarterback homicides on Sunday afternoons. The Browns mistreatment of quarterbacks had led to protests by the Quarterback Lives Matter Movement and other civil unrest. “We’ve all seen the […]



“I Hate The Browns” Appears In Clouds Over Cleveland 1

In an apparent miracle, the words “I Hate The Browns” appeared in the sky over Cleveland. “Those are definitely clouds,” Mayor Frank Jackson noted, “Way too big to be from a plane.” “And look, ¬†it has God’s signature.” “This really explains a lot,” Browns Coach Hue Jackson pointed out, “I mean, it’s one thing to […]

Report: All Browns Players Up For Trade… Except Terrelle Pryor 2

According to a report dropped oddly in the beginning of the Browns loss today, the Browns are set to continue the fire sale they started during the off-season: Per source, Terrelle Pryor is the only player on #Browns that is absolutely untouchable. They'll trade any All-Pro, not him. Value too high. — Courtney Fallon (@CourtneyFallon_) […]



Quarterback Lives Matter Movement Starts After Cleveland Browns Kill Two More Quarterbacks 3

The city of Cleveland is expecting protests from the QLM (Quarterback Lives Matter) movement on Sunday night and into Monday morning to cause traffic disruptions downtown. This comes on the heels of yet another double quarterback homicide committed during Sunday’s game against the New England Patriots. First rookie quarterback Cody Kessler was assaulted in the […]

Browns Actually Had Draft Big Board Upside Down All This Time

In a big “whoops” moment, it was revealed that the Cleveland Browns have actually had their draft “big board” has actually been upside down since 1999. This is the board that orders the Browns preferred draft selections from best to worst. In the Browns case, it’s been in reverse order, with the worst first and […]

Image via "Draft Day Movie."


Confused Johnny Manziel Shows Up At Browns Practice 4

An awkward moment developed at Browns practice on Tuesday morning, when former quarterback and current Texas A&M college student Johnny Manziel was sitting outside of the practice facility. Coach Hue Jackson saw Manziel sitting with his head down when he arrived to open to facility at 5 AM. “Um. Can I help you?” Coach Jackson […]